Dear Frank, I wish… Love, Gabi 2/2/23
“Don’t ever depend on a man because he can take everything away from you.”
Reflecting on this lesson from my mother, I’ve had to live it firsthand, rebuilding my sense of self after the end of a 12-year relationship. Through my work, I explore self-portraiture with a critical lens, examining the medium’s history of absence and erasure, particularly of women like me. I’m deeply inspired by the Chicana women and ancestors who, bound by societal expectations of submission, were often unable to leave dysfunctional marriages.
Now, as a single woman, I’m navigating the complex aftermath of years spent trying to please others. Life as a couple creates a comfort zone—one that, in hindsight, demanded I set aside parts of myself. When it ended, I wasn’t sure if I was grieving the partner or the comfort that came with that shared life.
As women, we often struggle to find self-worth outside the roles defined by others. My work addresses the need to build ourselves up, trusting that we are worthy on our own terms. In seeking peace, we break the cycle of generational trauma caused by traditional expectations. Soledad (solitude) becomes a source of fulfillment as we reclaim our journey toward self-love and empowerment.
